[VIDEO] Marriage: A different kind of commitment?
PUBLISHED 3 AUGUST 2018
So, you're getting married soon. Congratulations! But are you ready for what comes next? Do you know about your partner's financial standing? Should you get a house, a car, or get married first? What is the plan?
On this episode of RUMIT, Izhar Iswan, Senior Executive of Agensi Kaunseling dan Pengurusan Kredit (AKPK), shares about the importance of planning before and after marriage, and breaks down the expenses that come with it.
FULL TRANSCRIPT
Hello?
Hi, I’m Jazmin. I’m 22 and well, adulting – it’s been tough. Think you can help me adult?
[INTRO MUSIC]
“EPISODE #5: MARRIAGE”
JAZMIN SIEH | Host
Ah, marriage. So, weddings always look like they’re a little $$$. But, with the right person, everything after that is happily ever after lah kan?
Or is it?
[DUBSTEP MUSIC] [CHAOTIC ARGUMENT]
IZHAR ISWAN | Senior Executive, AKPK
“You want to do only small ah? Why small? Malulah! Oh baju mesti cantik, mesti mahal.” Who are you, man? You’re not even going to pay my wedding, you’re not even coming to my wedding!
[MUSIC]
IZHAR
If you look into the culture, the Malaysian culture, if you get married at the age of 28 and above it means that you are tak laku, you know? Something like that. Okay? But that doesn’t mean that you tak laku, it’s just that by pushing the time for you to get married, it’s actually for us to get more time to think [about] the financial part of it and as well as for the future. Because getting married is not as easy as like a snap of a finger. Because when they get married sometimes they don’t think of what happens after:
“Okay, we need to live on our own.”
“Okay but we don’t have enough money. How?”
“Okay, we borrow.”
“Okay, how to borrow? And what are the consequences? Do we need to borrow money from our parents and all?”
But what we have in Malaysia right now, in terms of marriage, is it is more important to please other people’s eyes rather than to please your pocket financially.
IZHAR
When you want to get married, remember; do not borrow. Specifically, do not borrow with loan sharks. We do have cases where, when they try to borrow and they to give the best and at the end of the day, who’s paying? Not these people. They themselves have to pay.
You need to know your partner’s financial standing. Because if you partner has bad debts, you have to work together to settle the debts and this will actually take you emotionally.
Getting married itself is not cheap, getting a divorce is also not cheap. We are not like as you see in the TV – at the end of the day, you’re getting married to the debts. Some may say that it’s a sensitive issue. This is something that we always encourage newlyweds or even if they don’t think of getting married soon, you should actually talk money with your partner when you are ready to get married.
This is being together. Forever.
JAZMIN
The key conversation starter is what are the points that we should talk about?
IZHAR
I don’t know, I mean the best is always to go straightforward with – I mean, “Do you have debts?” [Laughs]
To prioritise things is that you have to ask yourself, why do you want to get married this early? Why do you want to get married with this person? And are you ready to get married as a whole? And from there you will actually look into the priority – whether you want to get married first, then only you want to but a house, then only you want to buy a car.
Always prepare your plan. And just going to put that as your life goal or maybe, “I need to do this before 25. In five years, what happens if you know, you get pregnant. Okay, with kids and all. How? Are you going to continue to work or do you want to be a stay-home mom. Can we actually live together on my salary?”
You have to plan now and then you have to think about the future, and then you have to trash out and iron out everything before you actually dive into it. It doesn’t mean that when you say that you have to be financially stable meaning you really have to save as much as you can and then make sure you can actually live until doomsday, you know? But it’s more like you need to prepare for at least the first five years or even the first 10 years for you to be comfortable with your life because if you look into the future, you might want to add your family members, like children and all. So that requires more money.
JAZMIN
Is it actually a lot easier, financially, when you’re married?
IZHAR
Well, between us, it is tougher if you work on your own, but if you work together, it will be a lot easier. Because it is always about sharing your problems with each other, and if you do have issues with your finances, talk to your partner. Because when you discuss this matter, the partner will actually either console you or help you and support you to ensure that the unit – the relationship – stays as it is to move forward as a better couple. Discuss together, work together as a unit.
It’s not always rosy every day. You’re going to see rain, you’re going to see storms, and at the end of the day, you’re going to see a rainbow.
[END]
CREDITS
